In 2023, Ashley went on a new first date every week of the year until she fell in love. In 2025, she’s revisiting these weekly pieces on Deep Trouble to see how well this experiment really worked.
Originally published 1/30/2023, Updated on 1/27/2025
I’m also donating my Substack from this month to wildfire mutual aid, so if you subscribe right now, it’s for a good cause.
Hey! Thought I finally gave up on this? Thought a man I rejected murdered me1? No! I just stacked up some dates and then went into hibernation mode because I got my period. But Ashley, you’re a modern woman, a feminist, what’s wrong with dating on your period or period sex? Well, nothing! It’s just that I personally have endometriosis, so physical movement hurts during that time of the month. I need to stay home with a heating pad because my body is actively fighting against me.
I knew I’d be out of commission, so I used the previous week to pile up on coffee dates and drinks. That’s my preferred style of date. Meet someone, enjoy a drink, get on with your day. If things click? Keep hanging out! Make more plans! Everyone takes dating (and everything) too seriously now. Popping in from 2025 to mention the latest wild thing I’ve seen online: everyone is mad about this guy who posted a pic of his friend who was excited his girlfriend got an IUD. A thing that has nothing to do with anyone else is making people mad because it “centers” a man’s pleasure.
People get IUDs for so many reasons. In fact, I switched from copper to hormonal a few months ago. It helped with the endometriosis I mentioned above. But also, women enjoy sex too. It seems very likely this was a choice she made for her own reasons. There was also a thread where people were shocked by the number of men the women in Sex and the City slept with. They were like, the women in this show about sex are having too much sex. Someone broke it down and pointed out Miranda is a women in her 30s and that averages to about 3 men a year.
I know the conservatives have one, but it’s wild that even something like birth control is questioned as anti-feminist now. I do not get what is going on. Oh well.
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