#003
Welcome to another HYPERFIX!! This week we’re talking OJ Simpson, Paradise and Lily Collins’ surrogacy. Perfectly uncontroversial topics.
Also, are you following me on Bluesky? Or Threads? or Substack? Or TikTok? Or beehiiv? Or Patreon? Or hell, even Rednote? You can even hit me up on Duolingo. Or anywhere that is not Twitter. Because I just can’t do it anymore.
Every other post is clear Elon/Trump propaganda, even if I just stick to my “following” tab. It’s starting to feel very “sure it’s owned by Goebbels, but where else can I make jokes about the Grammys for likes?”
You don’t have to ignore constant bullshit and the dumbest opinions you’ve ever read (more on that below) to be on social media! There are other options!
My acct is locked down. I’d share links to my stuff on there, but that app doesn’t even like links! Also, this article “A Nation of Online Losers” by
summed it up:Did you know even Lush left Twitter? The soap and bodywash brand? Yeah, Lush is better than me. If i stay on Twitter, this fancy bath bomb shop has more self-respect than I do. I can’t let that be true.
Anyway, let’s talk about what’s been keeping me from getting work done:
PARADISE (Hulu)

As a millennial bisexual, I have obviously fallen in love with Sarah Shahi more than once in this lifetime. When I first met her as Carmen in The L Word, I knew she’d be a lifelong celebrity crush. If she’s in something? I watch. I loved Life. Yeah, I even watched Life. I will follow Sarah Shahi wherever she goes.
I saw commercial for Paradise, but somehow missed her face in them. Or maybe she wasn’t featured? There’s a HUGE twist in the show and the trailer wants you to believe this is just another president/secret service show. The previews leave out a lot of information. I won’t say more, but there’s a reason it took me forever to start this show. Then I watched all three available episodes in a night.
I will share that Paradise is the sexiest show on TV. It stars Shahi, Sterling K. Brown, Julianne Nicholson, and James Marsden. That’s sexy enough. But also? It’s a sexy show. The kids might be crying about TV having too much sex, but this show is for people who think back fondly on Dennis Franz baring it all on NYPD Blue. The shower scene in Paradise deserves an equal place in our collective televisual history.
I wish I could binge it. I start buzzing when I see that new episode has hit my Hulu account. Give it a shot. If you hate it, at least you got to look at some attractive people. I’ve been saying TV is so back for awhile now and Paradise? It’s real TV, baby.
NECESSARY DOCUMENTARIES
I watch too many documentaries. Here are my thoughts.
Scamanda, 2025 (Hulu)
I told you Scamanda debuted last week, did you watch? It’s so good! Whistleblowers are revealed! Cancer-faking Christians face comeuppance! I do wish they’d just done this as a movie, though. That’s also how I felt about A Word From Our Family (or whatever it was called). It didn’t need to be four episodes spread over weeks. The story wasn’t that compelling.
Scamanda might be far from reaching its craziest moment, but I don’t know that there’s much more driving this narrative. This was a big influencer scam, I guess, so most of you probably already knows what happened. I don’t! So I’m having fun.
American Manhunt: O.J. Simpson (Netflix)
Someone on Bluesky said that O.J. Simpson is one of America’s “comfort cases.” I like that description, because it’s the only thing that explains why another O.J. Simpson documentary has even been made. There’s no take on O.J. that hasn’t been covered. There are enough books, podcasts, tv shows and movies to cover every take. Why do people keep coming back to it?
It’s a comfort. Nearly everyone agrees on what happened and what went wrong. Have you been to the O.J. Simpson subreddit? It’s the most peaceful place on the Internet. Even people who agree with the verdict will concede that he did it! The state just didn’t prove it beyond a reasonable doubt.
I’ll be writing a detailed Dueling Docs post comparing this new O.J. doc to the others. I’ll save you time, though: it’s not worth watching. You won’t learn anything new. The “new information” it claims is from O.J.’s agent at the time of the murders. After defending O.J. for years, he told O.J. he wanted to know what happened that night. O.J. said (according to him), “Nicole would still be alive if she hadn’t opened the door with a knife.” After hearing this, the agent couldn’t sleep and quit the next day.
Is this shocking new information? Will the 30 people who still believe he didn’t do it be convinced by this? Probably not. People who want to hold on to the dream will just say the agent is doing this for money or attention. This is also the agent O.J. allegedly tried to kill in the Las Vegas heist that eventually sent him to prison.
I’ll say, though, the agent seems to still genuinely love him. He says he never believed O.J. wanted to kill him and that was the cops lying to get them to turn on each other. He seems like a reliable witness. But, hey, it’s hearsay. Who knows? (We all do. We all know. He did it.)
By the way - I used to do a bit where I was a 5th grader who did her summer book report on the conspiracy book O.J. is Innocent and I Can Prove it. It claims O.J.’s son did it. I do not actually believe Jason did it. I think Jason helped after the fact to conceal evidence and that’s why they never found his bloody shoes and other clothes. I think that’s also why O.J. hired a lawyer for him too. <3
TV AND FILM
Want weekly TV reviews and episodic coverage? Follow TV I Say on Patreon. Below is a quick look at the stuff that’s getting me excited.
90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days (Max) - THE TELL ALL IS FINALLY OVER!!! I don’t think it got more exciting. I don’t think it needed to be four parts. No one came out looking great except Niles and Matilda (kind of.) We are free! On to the next one: 90 Day Fiancé, the original.
Mo (Netflix) - I loved the first season of this show and season two is even better. Funny, frustrating, heartfelt. I watched it all in a day. The end feels like a series finale, but I hope Netflix keeps it going.
Below Deck: Down Under (Peacock) - I’ll be doing weekly recaps over on TV I Say! The hottest Below Deck captain is back, though, and we have a brand new crew (except for Harry). I have higher hopes than I did for Sailing Yacht.
Severance (Apple TV) - How are they allowed to have so much happen every episode? The end of the last episode felt like something we wouldn’t see for another 3 seasons and they…they just did it. Season 2. Episode 3. Crazy.
90 Day: The Last Resort (Max) - I think you can skip this season if you were curious. If you love the Ari/Bini storyline, it’s worth it for that.
Sister Wives (Max) - I do think Kody has come a long way. He can admit his faults when it comes to his old marriages now. Therapy is working I guess.
Love After Lockup (WeTV) - The season finale with the white guy getting found out for having two girls was great. On to Life After Lockup!
High Potential (Hulu) - NEW EPISODE TONIGHT!!!!!!!
St. Denis Medical (Peacock) - NEW EPISODE TONIGHT!!!!!!!
Dateline (Hulu) - Is there anything worse than when you already know the story on Dateline? It’s that Kimes lady who killed people with her son. It was on that Netflix worst roommate series I think. Anyway, nothing new here.
Silo (Apple) - I started this show when it premiered, but got bored and quit around episode 3. Last weekend, I fell back into it and binged both current seasons. It’s good! It pulled me in so much, I started reading the books. The TV show does change a lot from the books, so don’t be afraid of spoilers if you want an idea of how it ends.
School Spirit (Paramount+) - This is one of my FAVORITE SHOWS and I had no idea it came back. I had to use this app to watch the Grammys and what do I see? Three episodes of SCHOOL SPIRIT. I dove right in. It’s so good.
Traitors (Peacock) - I wrote a lot about Traitors a few weeks ago….I said that Wes seemed to be playing a really good game. And then Wes blew it all up and spit in my face. Remember when I said he did House of Villains to learn how to play celebs? Then the second he had to play the celebs, he cracked and LOST IT?
I was wrong. He’s still my boy though.
Wicked Game: Devil in the Desert (Hulu) - Remember those three guys who Shawshank’d their way out of prison in California a few years ago? They somehow got tools, sawed into a backroom, got on the roof and rappelled down? And also they videotaped every step of it and put it on social media? This is their story! If you like true crime sans murder, this is a great weekend watch.
The Curious Case Of (Max) - Still enjoying this show! The last one was about a guy who ran a fake funeral home and scammed people and gave people fake ashes. Last week’s was a boring one, but now we’re back.
RANDOM
The more out there stuff I’ve been fixated on lately.
-The Cold Podcast
I mentioned the Susan Powell case in last week’s Hyperfix, but I started listening to Cold and want to say again: god listen to this podcast. I know!! True crime, problematic!! But, I think stories like this are helpful in teaching people what controlling, abusive relationships really look like.
Which also makes me think of Kanye and his wife, Bianca, at the Grammys on Sunday. As I’m sure you’ve seen, she showed up naked with her standard “brainwashed deer in the headlights” look. Kanye stood aside, like he was proud that he could make a woman do this. He has a history of doing this to the women he dates and it’s part of his controlling behavior.
What did the internet say? They wondered if Bianca was a victim of sex trafficking. Well, no. Sex trafficking is a different thing that’s based on a commercial sex act. It is not when your boyfriend controls what you wear for his ego and benefit. Kanye getting additional google searches and headlines because he knows this will get attention is not the same as sex trafficking.
It’s a controlling relationship. We should use the right term so people know what a controlling relationship looks like. It looks like this and even rich, smart women like Bianca can fall victim to it. Of course, maybe she also loves doing this. I don’t know! I don’t know her or them! I do know she’s not being sex trafficked though.
-Finding Alina Powell
Once you listen to Cold, you will want to find this woman and ask her a few questions. Come on out, Alina, we’re not gonna jump you, we just wanna know what’s up with you? Have you listened to your dad’s tapes or read his journals?
-Taking A Break From Weed
Ok, I said I’d do this two weeks ago and I haven’t. I went to San Francisco! Then it was my anniversary! Then it was “ok I’ll stop after this party.” I am ready to do it cold turkey, though. It’s harder than leaving Twitter. So, after V-DAY!!!!! I will be returning to the land of normies.
-Surrogacy
There were a few dumb fucking opinions that made me want to leave Twitter. One was everyone trying to claim that New York Mag profile on young Trumpers was actually “making fun of them.” They don’t care. They don’t respect New York Mag, so they don’t care if you make fun of them. “They look bad in the pictures, they look like they’re in the Purge” Yeah, those people want to do a purge. They would love to look like the people in the purge. What are we gaining from this? Sorry, I yelled about it enough on Bluesky. Let me move on.
The other topic was Lily Collins’ new baby via surrogacy. I did not realize people on Twitter were so against surrogacy while also knowing nothing about it. The argument against it is that it is rich people taking advantage of poor women who need the money surrogacy provides. They acknowledge that this isn’t the case if someone uses a friend or relative as the surrogate. But they still got really mad at Lily Collins, even though they don’t know if she used a friend/relative or not. Maybe she did?
BUT, the thing is…at least in America and a few other countries…poor women aren’t allowed to be surrogates. 99% of agencies in states where it’s legal require the surrogate to go through a mental, physical and financial background check. You can’t be a surrogate if you receive welfare (unless it’s to support a disabled child). You can’t be a surrogate if you’ve ever filed for bankruptcy. You can’t be a surrogate if you do not have a full time job or insurance. You cannot be a surrogate if your only income would be from surrogacy. These are all protections put in place so that poor women can’t be taken advantage of by rich people.
Also, in America at least, you can’t just take someone to the doctor and go “Hey, do IVF on this lady” without the surrogate going through those checks/an agency. Yes, there are other countries that do not have rules like this, but I don’t think Lily Collins went to one of them. Why would she? She’s rich. Rich people tend to do the thing that will best protect them, no matter how expensive it is. She has Emily in Paris money, y’all, she can afford to use the most expensive, stringent surrogacy agency to protect herself and the surrogate. I don’t see a celebrity taking a short cut here.
Anyway, most people didn’t know that there are like, rules to how surrogacy works. Once you cover that though, they pivot to “well actually, it’s discrimination that poor women can’t be surrogates.”
Then there is the “they are selling their bodies” argument. If you believe sex work is work and that all jobs require us to sacrifice something physical, why is surrogacy different? Of course, most of these people don’t believe sex work is work. They don’t see how “but they’re selling their body” is also someone needing a knee replacement after years working in a factory. They don’t realize they’re taking away people’s agency over their own bodies. They don’t realize they’re five steps away from TERFs and the pro-life movement with this bullshit.
Globally, commercial surrogacy does need reform. Acting like it can’t be reformed to address economic concerns is ridiculous, places are doing that. We’ve seen it’s possible.
These people also rush to “JUST ADOPT, THERE ARE SO MANY KIDS WHO NEED TO BE ADOPTED” despite the fact that adoption is often incredibly unethical! And it impacts impoverished women more than surrogacy! There are women who only put their children up for adoption because they can’t afford them. Poor women are targeted by DCFS and are more likely to have their children put into foster homes which can lead to unethical adoptions.
There are underground adoption agencies! There are international adoption scams! There are people who adopt for nefarious reasons (did you watch An Update on Our Family on Max?!). Someone who spends hundreds of thousands on surrogacy probably isn’t doing it for YouTube views.
Leave Emily in Paris alone.
-Duolingo
I am so good at learning Chinese. I have finally made it to the Obsidian league. Diamond league next week.
Upcoming Comedy Shows
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2/14 - Los Angeles - The Sleepover Comedy Show
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The step by step clarifications on surrogacy qualifications was a must read for me. Loved it haha i just imagine you yelling about these against a blue sky green screen
I haven't tried Patriot because I was so turned off by the trailers seemingly giving away the ENTIRE plot. I'm happy to read that isn't the case!!! I will check it out ASAP. I have Scamanda at the top of my documentary list.
I watched "An Update on Our Family" about Myka Stauffer. I only found out who she was when the adoption failure scandal occurred. There was no need for this to be 3 x 1 hour episodes. 90 minutes would've been great.